isn't it awwwwwful?

Every time someone asks me if I'm ok, I say "I'm fine, Thank You.", but to be honest, I'm not. Do people really want to know how you feel when they ask how you are? Or are they just trying to be polite?

Tell you what, the next time someone ask me how I am, I'm going to say that I'm not actually doing well at all. That I'm feeling a bit depressed and lonely. Pissed off at the world. Envious of everyone, and their perfect little lives. And then I'll say how I started a new life on my own, but not meeting other people because I chose to start my new world without anyone around. I'll say that I don't have much friends at the moment because I opted to be isolated from the rest of the universe for I don't want them to worry about me because that won't help anyway. I’ll tell him/her that how I consume bottles of beer every night because that’s the only way I can get myself to sleep. I’ll say how I eat meals but not tasting anything but bitterness. I’ll tell how I pretend to be okay in front of my family because I don’t want to answer their insensitive questions. I'll tell that person how I'm trying to pick myself up but that I'm now at a loss about what else to do. Then I'll say how it pisses me off when everyone says that "Time is a healer" when at the same time they also say that "Absence make the heart grow fonder", which actually confuses me, because that means that the longer he's not around, the more I want him. I'll tell that person that nothing is really healing at all and that every morning when I wake up in my empty bed, it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds. And then I'll tell him/her how much I miss him and about how my life seems so worthless without him around. How uninterested I am in getting things on with things without him, and I'll explain how I feel like I’m just waiting for my world to end so this will all go away. That person will probably say nothing; go on with his/her life as he/she usually does while I'm still deciding how to spend an emotionally draining day alone.

What do you think 'bout that?